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Both hosts and guests may be confused about what RSVP means on an invitation. It means the host needs a definite head count for the planned event and needs it by the date specified on the invitation. Most importantly, failing to RSVP does have its consequences. If you don't respond, the host will expect you to be there. Be sure to use the requested method to respond if you can't attend. It's best not to respond if you will attend, as a response may be confusing to the host. Use other methods to express your enthusiasm about attending the event. If you check the invitation and there is no request for an RSVP, you have no obligation to respond. But it is still best to contact the host to tell him you are coming, especially if you want to bring a guest. It could be they simply forgot to include the RSVP request. However, once you say you are coming, you should treat it like a full obligation, just as when an RSVP is requested. The RSVP should make it clear who is invited. This is an important deadline as the host is finalizing numbers for the caterer, event site, favors, etc. It's best to respond as soon as possible rather than delaying. The host then may be able to offer invitations to other people who didn't make the first cut for invitations or accommodates extra guests of other invitees. If you want to attend but you have difficulty giving a definite response before the deadline, it's best to decline. It's best to be honest with the host about your situation. The only way they can help make accommodations for you is if they know you need them. You can contact the host with your regrets and explain what is keeping you from being able to know you can attend. Ask if there is any flexibility but understand if there isn't. The earlier you make this call, the better, rather than waiting until the host has followed up with requests to return the outstanding RSVPs. The time to decline is when you make the RSVP, considering all the factors as to your scheduling, finances, and other opportunities. If you declined the RSVP but discover you can attend the event, contact the host to see if it is possible. Be sure to express that you understand that it probably isn't possible as your host may have to tell you it is too late. Make that easy on the host if you want future invitations. Many people don't RSVP because they don't want to disappoint the host. This attempt to spare their feelings usually causes more trouble than a simple no. An incomplete list of respondents can cause numerous problems for a host, including difficulty in planning food quantities, issues relating to minimum guarantees with catering halls, uncertainty over the number of party favors, and difficulties in planning appropriate seating, among other things. Sometimes people don't send an RSVP by the requested time because they are unsure if they will be able to attend and don't want to commit to an answer. If this is your situation, it's best to be honest with the host about your situation. The only way they can help make accommodations for you is if they know you need them.
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